CHEERS TO THE FREAKING VAGINA

“You know sex is supposed to feel good because nyele feels good; like how a whiff of Thobe’s curry korma promises you a heavenly meal”

I am fascinated by men’s fascination with the vagina. I am specific about ‘vagina’ and not ‘sex’ in general, because if it was just about sexual pleasure most men would leave it at being your own bestfriend and the mortality and infant mortality rates would be a whole lot different. In addition, I am not talking about the emotional side of a man wanting a woman; my fascination is with men I know would NEVER leave their wives yet pulupudza outside the marriage bed. Why? Because they want to sample new vagina. Men will gladly give up a healthy life, wealth-HEAVEN-for the vagina.

Obviously, I take it for granted because I have one, and if men had not shown me how much they crave it i.e. what they are willing to do for it, I would have been gladly giving it like the way West Africans gave away diamonds for weapons.

I do not know how the balances tipped; I think a woman would no more like to live without sex than a man. All things being equal, sex is a mutual give and take; I think if, as a woman, you seriously use withholding sex is a form of punishment for your partner, then you need to change partners-or at least get a sex slave. I do not see how one can choose punishing themselves too in a effort to punish someone else when there are so many other alternate methods of punishment; the only conclusion I come to is that the person does not feel like they are punishing themselves, therefore, they must be having bad sex. If anything, when a man is in the wrong, a woman should make the man fulfill the woman’s every fantasy. *Screw his pleasure; it’s all about you tonight*

The only time it is beneficial to withhold the vagina is if a dude is doing things for a woman solely to get her vagina. I WOULD NEVER GIVE MY VAGINA IN EXCHANGE FOR SOMETHING; not because I have an overload of morality but because the strongest negotiating tool one has in a hostage situations is to never negotiate.

I know, I know: if your child is being held hostage and they ask for one mil, then your 1st instinct is to give one mil….but after you give it you can only rely on their word, and if they are crass enough to be kidnappers, you really should not value their word. Even as I write this whispers of ‘easier said that done’ swarm my head. I guess that’s how some females end up giving their vaginas in order to get things when really you should never fupa chinyau chisanavine. Most females really do not know that they can get stuff just by being; granted they will get them because the men want their vaginas in return but you never have to go through with it. The vagina is potent enough to get you whatever you want just from the allusion to it like how really strong chamba gets you high from just a whiff of the smoke alone without smoking it.  If you didn’t know just replace every the appropriate noun in Rihanna’s songs with vagina:

Umbrella                          Vagina

Push Up on Me               Push Up on Vagina

Don’t Stop the Music     Don’t Stop the Vagina

Breaking Dishes              Breaking Vaginas

Hate that I Love You     Hate that I Love Vagina

Say It                                   Say Vagina

Sell Me Candy                    Sell ME Vagina

Lemme Get That               Lemme Get Vagina

Question Existing              Question Vagina

Good Girl Gone Bad          Good Vagina Gone Bad

Take a Bow                         Take a Vagina

Only Girl (in the world)    Only Vagina (in the World)

Man Down                          Vagina Down

Raining Men                       Raining Vagina

Love the Way You Lie      Love the Way Vaginas Lie

*Cheers to the Freaking Vagina*

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