I go on believing in the possibility of love and my certainty of it is stronger than my belief that the world will one day end; that the sun will rise tomorrow; that the wind will blow. I mean that if the chances of all the above were at par, I would sooner believe in the possibility of love than any of the others.
I adore my ex -for a great many number of things which by and by my blog must divulge-but in this context, for disillusioning me: I truly do not know if there is an ‘absolute truth’ in the universe but my truth is subject to my experiences and I am not nearly pompous enough to subject everyone to it since my experiences are not theirs.
Love, for me, is not a choice as others claim it is for them. Switching on a switch is a choice; being caught in a thunderstorm isn’t. It is an occurrence which is completely beyond the realm of one’s control.
How can I ‘choose’ to love someone when I cannot control their choosing to love me.?
Most people who subscribe to this tell me that you talk to your partner and if you are both in the same place you make a choice to make it work. For me, this seems like just a case of acknowledging to your partner and getting confirmation from them regarding something that was already there.
My ex disillusioned me from thinking that love is ‘a possibility with anyone’ and everything is in my hands. ‘Happiness is there just waiting for me to seize it!’ and if I am not in love it’s my fault because I missed the chance; and for somebody who craves love as if it were along lost limb, you can imagine the pressure; always on the look out to make the choice. Now that I am no longer hypnotised by this illusion I no longer feel the compulsion to assess every guy I meet as a possible ‘choice’. It’s not up to me to decide whether or not it rains today; love will either overtake me or it won’t and if it doesn’t it’s not my fault, and for thus freeing me of this burden I say, “Let’s have a toast for the douchebag”.
boobsetal 
You’re never gonna get anything in kife from sitting around and waiting for it to take over. Money, love, success, family etc.
“nobody gived to ya. You gotta take it!” -jack nic in the departed.
and i do smell that pungent aroma of a jaded heart. If sumone breaks ur heart, cry a river, build a bridge over it & MOVE ON! This swirling bs of selfpity & cynicism is out of fashion 🙂
I must be a brilliant writer; waaay ahead of my time. Are ‘jaded heart’ and ‘cynicism’ really what you get from this? Personally, I think it’s cool when people can come off that way–gives them an air of experience=superiority (?). I think I am waay too inexperienced to be cynic. I wish I could be though cause when you expect nothing, it can only go up from there (or if you get nothing, u wont be disappointed because it’s what you expected) as it is, I still expect a lot from life–as my opening was meant to point out (maybe I’m a shit writer).
Again, my conclusions come from my experiences and yours must too. I am guessing (stereotyping really) you are American that’s why this ‘go-getter’ attitude? I am a Malawian (google may come in handy), born, raised, and living in Malawi; all we do is sit around and wait. We plant maize, sit around and wait for the rain; the rain comes, we sit around and wait for the maize to grow; the maize grows, we sit around and wait for the sun to come; the sun comes, we sit around and wait for the maize to dry; the maize drys, we sit around and wait for the next rainy season to plant again-you get my point. but you in the West, u plant and water your crop using pumps, dry it technologically and you are ready to plant again. You may have a point about waiting though, look at where you are financially, but do you feel like you have compromised on quality of life in your haste? like your society’s stress levels seem to be rocketing- then again, might just be media, like how the only thing you see on tv about Africa are starving children and loin-clothed bushmen 😀