Mark Twain, the Genius (Part I)

I am sorry I have been MIA. I am dealing with a conundrum. For the time-being….

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”

“There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.”

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”

“It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.”

“Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one.”

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.”

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”

“Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.”

“I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.”

“There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”

“Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.”

“The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.”

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

“Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.”

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

“‘Classic.’ A book which people praise and don’t read.”

“Everything has its limit – iron ore cannot be educated into gold.”

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it”

“Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.”

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”

“The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”

“The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”

“Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all”

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life”

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

“To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.”

“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.”

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Mark Twain, the Genius (Part I)

  1. Pingback: A Murder, a Mystery and a Marriage « Literary Legends Quests & Odysseys

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s