FOOD: 12th March, 2012

Food has now taken over a substantial amount of my thought process. This is quite a shameful blow to my ego as I have always been somewhat of an academic elitist; the type who is too concerned with nobler thoughts like enlightenment to remember base things like lunch. I still miss meals on a regular basis, as last night, this morning, and lunch can testify; only, instead of missing them because of an unputdownable Shakespeare, it because I am too engrossed in fantasy alternating between the various vegetarian meals I can make with what I have in my kitchen, and meals I could make if I had a boundless fridge. It’s gotten so I can’t plan a hangout session without involving food. Before, when I would ask someone, or be asked, out for a drink it would really be about the company and the drink invitation would really just be a turn of phrase; can’t exactly say, ‘Hey, you wanna come and sit on my couch?’ It’s like how you invite someone in for coffee when you really mean sex and the coffee is just a matter of course that doesn’t really mean anything. Nowadays it means something. It means yes, yes, sex, but I gotta have the coffee (and hopefully something to accompany it). Additionally, on my quest towards vegetarianism I’ve decided to be having meat once a week, on Saturdays. Now, I spend a good part of each day, Mon-Fri, alternating between which craving to fulfill on the Day. Sundays are spend reviewing Saturday’s menu and how it could have been bettered. My conversations are now finding themselves revolving around being offered cake and directly or indirectly soliciting it from friends…and friends’ friends…ok, and sometimes, friends’ parents too BUT ONLY IF THERE’S AN APPROPRIATE OPENING. Conversely, I find myself offering people my baked goodness but I’ still trying to find out whether offers are genuine or I’m just tricking myself into having leftovers without the guilt-after all, I am baking them for someone else, and they say it’s good to give. Sometimes I fantasize about food that I’ve either read or heard about but don’t know how to make, like herbed chicken. I don’t know the seasoning that would go into it (some perfectly concocted mixture of herbs [silent ‘h’ please]) but it would be grilled whole, the skin would be crisp and I would garnish it with parsley. (I love the word crisp. I think, of all the om…words, it is by far the most precise. I feel like my jaw is crunching down on something ‘crispy’ when I say it. ‘Crunchy’ is also a good word but I associate it with chocolate or sweets, and while they are my most favourite food, I’m not really in the mood for them right now as I am talking about salty grilled chicken). Also, with my newfound passion for cooking, I am discovering that a lot of my friends are in the closet domesticated. I feel like if some sort of wifing competition had sprung up I would have been an amazed loser. I think if a lot of thins sprung up we would be amazed at what people do in the closet. Like my brother for example. Coolest dude in the world; a man’s man, party-till-you-drop, kind a’ guy. One day I, unexpectedly, barged into his room. I found the boy 1)r.e.a.d.i.n.g, and 2)the B.i.b.l.e . The boy had said he was going to b.e.d. Freud would, probably, say I am using food as a substitute for sex. I just googled that and it’s actually a psychological…thing. But I think we should take a minute and evaluate which is the real thing and which is the shadow. For example, soya products are not as good as their meat counterparts- hands down no questions asked, but can we say the same about food vs sex. I have no ill feelings towards sex. I am not one of those who ‘don’t get what the big deal is’ but I could easily see sex being a substitute for good food. Like in the villages where they barely have enough to eat and yet shooting them out when they are at eleven mini-me’s strong. Being hungry, I could easily see myself wanting something to distract me, and what better way than overcharging my senses? So I guess my ponderings lead to the conclusion that perhaps sex and food are interchangeable substitutes depending on which nourishment you are lacking. Anyway, I’ve always been lacking in sex; don’t think one can have too much sex, but I haven’t always been obsessed with food so that doesn’t add up either. Perhaps one must not over-think these things…

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