♫I’m in the mix…♫

There are several things that have been holding me in the bondage of indecision. 1)The phrases ‘in essence’ and ‘ in a sense’, though in actuality meaning different things if precision is to be called upon, I find to be interchangeable and therefore can hardly ever decide which one to use. 2) The song Dude by Beenie Man is so good that my body can never decide which move to go with first or at any particular time during the song; from far one would think I’m a black person who perhaps grew up in the wrong colour family but all it is is that all these moves come out all at once so I end up looking like I’m caught in a trance-like shaking frenzy. 3) The word diabolical: I really don’t think it was formed in the right context. I, literally, have to use it consciously to use it in the right way. It always comes to me when I want to mean paradoxical, or more precisely, dichotomous. For example, I am a Gemini so I may refer to myself as a dichotomous being, after I’ve bitten back the word ‘diabolical’.  To be honest, I don’t think ‘dichotomy’ is the right word for something that’s divided into to. I mean sure it’s got th ‘di’ going for it but really ‘chotomy’? That to me should be used to label an economy that is divided into two. Di-abolical on the other hand…I mean it’s so naturally fitting a word for the above outlined purpose that I refuse to use it in the sense that is ‘correctly’ meant to be. If I have to describe something as diabolical, I will go with the first word off the thesaurus. So this means I never use it-except in my head. So if I go several months without the word popping in my head, when it does pop up I always have to look it up to make sure it really does mean devilish, and errtime is like the first time: I get surprised all over again.  4) My ex best boy friend (He is not ex neither because he is no longer a boy- at least, I can’t testify to that- nor because he is no longer a friend, but he is no longer best. No juice here, just a simple matter of the earth shifting apart) told me that I should always log out of sites when I am done because staying logged on/in (and what’s up with that? Can’t we have a universal internet linguo?) makes me vulnerable to being hacked and y’all already know I aint trynna get my shits exposed, so I ALWAYS log out/off—ooooooh, I get it! Log ‘in’ to facebook, log ‘on’ to my computer!oh the miracles of deductive reasoning. *Wonder if I would have figured out specialisation if I hadn’t read Adam Smith’s masterpiece.*—so all is dandy in dandyland. THEN, Puppy Love comes over to mine and sees me logging out of facebook on my pc, and he is puzzled. “Aren’t you the only on who uses that?” rhetorical question “So why are you logging out?” Shit Shit Shit. So now I hover, for at least five minutes every time I am ‘done’ with one of these sites, between the Log Outbutton and the X at the right hand corner of the page. But shit, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. In a sense, I’m confused, so in essence, what I’m trying to say is I’m confused. I can’t help it; I’m diabolical.

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